This morning

114.6 lbs

Appetite follows happiness

Since the last time I updated this blog, I've run three times, including a mile+ on Tuesday morning and a mile + this morning. I've started to extend my running route: I do my normal mile and then backtrack. On Tuesday and last week I backtracked to the entrance of an alley but today I ran past that to a stop sign. Last week I could feel my endurance level increasing; even without breakfast, I can feel myself stronger and less tired at the end (allowing me to push even farther). Running still sucks though :X This morning I took a sip of water right before my run and a cramp started forming not too long after I started. I pushed through it. Luckily it wasn't a bad cramp but it did make it difficult to breathe. After my run, I ate a quesadilla, although I think I missed the vital 30-minute window -- I bought vegetables from a CSA and I washed my lettuce over and over and inspected every millimeter because I kept finding bugs in the lettuce. At first I was just taking them out with a paper towel but after I got rid of 5 bugs I decided to just wash again. Gross! They don't go away with just the faucet. They need some encouragement and pushing to get off the leaf and down the drain. That was the first time I spotted that many bugs on the lettuce (tiny little green bugs that were still alive! I guess they can survive in the fridge with all food available). Who knows how many bugs I ate from the other times I ate leaves from that lettuce. I realize that I've eaten bugs without knowing before, but ew ew ew. The quesadilla would have been less bad for me if I used whole wheat tortillas but... I went for taste and saving $0.40.

Speaking of food, I caught myself wandering around in my kitchen yesterday trying to find something to eat when I wasn't that hungry! My appetite has come back. It was gone for so long that I had forgotten what it was like to want to eat for the sake of eating. I didn't understand eating for pleasure; I just ate to not get a stomach ache. It was a chore to eat. Yesterday I found myself thinking about food more often. Just two days ago I could only eat half of my bowl of rice from Chego!! It has been a few weeks since I left my job, and I'm not as stressed out anymore. Turns out I'm not a stress eater; I'm a happy eater! Some people are both hahaha. The stressed out eating I can understand: you're stressed out so you want to eat feel-good food. Happy eating? Not sure what's up with that. I'm happy so why do I need food to make me happier? Well, at least I found the answer to the question I was pondering last month: which is more stressful: being at a job I don't love or being unemployed? Granted, it's only been three weeks, so maybe I'm just in a honeymoon phase and the REAL stress of not having a job will come soon.

I weighed myself this morning: 115.2. Last week I was 117. I gain a couple or a few pounds on my period. I was reading that when you're on your period, your metabolism increases slightly. Not enough for the two In-N-Out trips I made!

I read an article that covered a TV show on TLC about obese pregnant women. I posted an article a while back about OB/Gyns turning away overweight women, so I already knew that OB/Gyns face challenges when it comes to treating overweight women with regards to our reproductive system. There was a video clip that accompanied the article and I don't know how much this woman weighed but they spent 45 minutes trying to stick her with the epidural. They could not tell if it was in the right place through all the layers of fat. They put the needle in her a few times on camera, but I'm wondering how many tries they did total. She was in pain every single time of course!! They eventually decided to put her under general anesthesia and perform a c-section. The c-section part honestly surprised me; I thought they were just going to say, "suck it up and give birth naturally." I've never given birth so it's easy for me to say, "suck it up," but I can't believe they resorted to open surgery so quickly. Or maybe there was something that I didn't see. The article also said that that specific hospital needed wider beds that could hold up to 600 lbs because the other beds could only hold 450 lbs. "Only" 450 lbs!! here's the full article: http://abcn.ws/LZfyvX

I got on the Greek yogurt bandwagon. I don't usually eat yogurt because, more often than not, it will contain gelatin. I read the Greek yogurt label a few times to make SURE it didn't contain gelatin. It's a lot thicker than regular yogurt but in taste there's not really that big of a difference. It's fat free, contains active cultures, and I looked at another brand and that did not contain gelatin either, so it's also vegetarian! That being said, I wonder if eating dairy makes me bloated. I might try no dairy for a week or two (eek Yogurtland) after I finish off this batch of Greek yogurt. Oh and cheese that I bought for quesadillas.

Stabilization of weight...NOT

Short entry today, a bit busy.

This morning:
113 lbs

I don't know what's going on or how in the world I lost weight from last weekend. I want to take a vacuum and use the hose attachment to suck out the fat in my lower abdomen and love handles, though!!!!! I wish it were that easy. hahah

How People Around Us Influence Our Eating Habits

Last night I went to sleep rumbly-free. YAY!!! And woke up hungry. Double yay!!

This morning: 113.8. Not back to normal yet, but getting closer. There's a complete linear correlation for my weight gain this week of 0.4 lbs/day. At this rate, my weight should stabilize within the next few days. If I end up at 160 lbs, it was not the food poisoning.

While lying in bed, I found an article from betterworks.com that talks about something we already know: our friends and family influence how we eat, and thusly, how fat or skinny we are. However, the exact numbers surprised me:

(click on the image to view the full article)

I previously thought that these numbers were backwards: that the highest likelihood of being obese is if your spouse is obese and least likelihood of being obese is if your friends are obese. I understand the high relevance of friends but I thought that family had more to do with it.

I, of course, am an anomaly, as I don't think much of my food choices are dictated by my friends. Well, let me qualify that statement with: I don't think this study was meant to say anything about conscious or subconscious eating habits -- just that you and your friends have influence over what you all choose to eat, whether it's conscious or not -- but I do make it a point for myself to stick to my own dietary standards regardless of what others eat. And I say that because I've been accused of "making others feel bad" by eating healthy or not eating unhealthy. (Screw you. I didn't make you feel bad; you made yourself feel bad. Don't blame me, and if you're going to eat a brownie, freaking enjoy it.) However, I don't think any of my friends eat UNhealthy on a regular basis. None of my friends are obese, or even overweight. My friends and I definitely fall into the second category in the third section there, eating fruits and vegetables. If an opportunity presented itself to be friends with an unhealthy eater, I'm not sure how that would affect the friendship. So much of what we do revolves around eating -- first place to go hang out is an eatery, gatherings involve food, etc. I once dated a guy who ate unhealthy and did not like fruit. That did not go over with me well. But friendship, not sure. We live in LA though, which isn't the skinniest city in the US, but it is one of the more health-oriented metropolitan areas, so this may not directly sing to us as individuals here in the city of angels. I have heard that I rub off on others, though; that my eating healthy encourages others to eat healthy (or less bad) too. So the lesson is everyone should be friends with me. The end.

Starting to eat more...

Yesterday I ate Tuesday's leftovers. I grazed on the meal for a few hours. I ate crackers and drank G2 for the rest of the day because they made me feel so much better on Monday I thought those are the only things I want to ingest for the rest of my life, but I got super bloated -- which obviously makes sense because when I was throwing up, I WANTED to retain water. Last night I was STARVING but I had no food in the house! I went to bed and the crackers and G2 were not sitting well. The nausea and stomach ache were back :( I was 113.4 lbs yesterday or today, I forgot. The good news is that tonight I was able to eat rice and veggie fake meat stuff in one sitting in less than 0:20, which is great news. I was scared that I ate too fast. That was because today I had 1.5 servings of split pea soup and then I had a shift from 5 - 8:30 so I was, again, STARVING when it was 8:35. I debated getting LA Vegan Thai, but did not because it was farther south when I had to go north, and the walk back to my apartment would have sucked; and I needed to save money, so I just stopped by Vons on the way home and made rice. I only have a slight stomach ache but no rumbling noises. I've noticed that my patience while waiting before I eat has increased tremendously. I wasn't as grumpy because I knew that if I just ate anything that was next to me I would get a massive stomach ache and totally regret it. So I just rode it out and it paid off.

I'm not at all well enough to go jogging again. I still get shortness of breath and dizzy when I stand up too fast. Realistically I think I'll be back to my normal self by Saturday. Fingers crossed!

It *WAS* the omlet!!!

The stomach ache from yesterday WAS from the omlet!! Grrr food poisoning... I threw up four times in three hours and was in bed for the rest of the night. That was NOT anxiety!! Special special thanks to Dennis for listening to me dying on the phone and walking me through symptoms and pain and solutions; Keith for letting me know he had Gatorade at home; Anj for going to my apartment and dropping off the G2 and crackers because I couldn't even make it across the street to Vons. Also I have to mention Armando because he came home last night at 1 and he didn't "do" anything, but his presence made me feel better. Goes to show that, as social creatures, our health can be altered by those around us. One example being that elderly people live longer and happier lives when they live with people, even in nursing homes.

I went to bed again at 2AM and woke up at 6AM and was shocked about how bad I did not feel. It was like I was never sick!! At 12-2AM I was hot but had goosebumps and chills, was burping a lot, had pain when I used my core muscles, found the need to take deep breaths a lot, felt nauseated in certain positions, had no energy. But not 4 hours later! It was crazy. I weighed myself out of curiosity today and I was 112.6 lbs, 24% body fat, 52.2% TBW. Also for fun I measured my waist and that came out to 25.5". That bulimia diet totally paid off! In real news, I am never ingesting anything again ever ever ever except G2 and crackers ever ever.